Dirty Cash I want you, Dirty Cash I need you.

Bonjour. Told you I wouldn’t leave it as long this time. Is two weeks too long though? Jade would say yes I’m sure, if she had her way I would be blogging and social media-ing so often that I would eventually have nothing to talk about other than blogging, caught in a perpetual wordpress merry-go-round. Blog-ception. I have to say that when I do finally sit down to write this thing I do really begin to enjoy it. I would probably say the last time I wrote entertaining words consistently (as opposed to my groundbreaking history essays) was an ill-fated stint on Kingston Uni’s ‘Creative Writing’ course. I did enjoy that but got fed up of sickly smug, beret wearing ‘artistes’ blurting their angsty hormonal prose. Think David Brent’s reciting his poem ‘Excalibur’ in The Office. “I froze your tears and made a dagger and stabbed it in my cock forever.” You get the picture.

What the bloody hell have I been doing? Good question. Shortly after we last spoke I popped down to the third and final Business Sheffield workshop. This one outlines all the financial side of things, tax, HMRC and all that. I’m not going to try to entertain here as it’s a dry husk of a topic, nothing juicey to mention but they were extremely helpful once again. Needless to say if anyone asks me about my experience/advice re. BS I will be gushing in my praise. It could get weird.

Which brings me nicely on to the money. The dollar. Dosh. Pesos. What we are gonna call it doesn’t matter, all that matters is that we have some. Not only some, we have the full extent we need to get up and running courtesy of my father, thanks again pops. What a man. Safe to say the pint and a summit went very well and here we are. I’m rich beyond my wildest dreams. It’s really great that dad shares in our vision and can see what we are trying to do. Even when, as he pointed out the other day, he hasn’t actually sampled the goods yet. I’m gonna have to get round there and do the full works for him. Talk about faith hey? I guess the hard work starts now else he’s gonna have a lean retirement… For family honour. Feet don’t fail me now.

Actually it’s a bit of stretch to say we’re rich as we’ve taken great pains to keep the costs as low as humanly possible. The only luxury we toyed with buying was a neon sign but that swiftly got axed when we got the calculator out. What this does mean is that the shopping list that has sat deep within my computer can break out like a little hatchling and grow into a badass mother effing food stall. Everything is pretty much ready to be ordered and I think we will be surprised at how fast it all comes together after months and months of planning. We have penciled in the weekend of the 23rd and 24th of April for our launch party which will be held at the Forum on Devonshire Green. The manager Miles is an OG and is kindly up for hosting the launch although a date is yet to be formally agreed, but all I do know is that you are all invited to break bread with us. Any of my non Sheffielders you can all sleep in my bed. Food will be free, the lol’s will be plentiful, the after party will be live. That last bit is wishful thinking. Although poutine is an aphrodisiac, you have been warned. Keep tabs on this baby for further details.

That day is damn close and don’t we know it. What with working a full time job and squeezing this all out within the next 6 weeks I have never been busier. I like it though. It’s probably about time I were this busy I’d say. With that in mind me and father (yes we would be screwed without him) have begun building the stall in earnest. So far this has consisted of dad getting excited over some new welding equipment he’s sourced from the net and me seizing my back muscles hunching over pallet boards, sanding them down till they’re all sexy-like. Dad’s Chesterfield abode is HQ for the operation and progress I would say has been good. We are going for a rugged/classic stylish look. A little like it’s owner. I honestly can’t wait to show you guys, I think I’m gonna do a sped-up video ala ground force of us setting it up when it’s all shiny and done, so look forward to that.


Wood is Good
Setting up the stall for the first time
She’s rusted & busted but beautiful
Dad testing out his new toys
Sparks will fly
Welding makes a nice pic
Darkness fell so we called it a day

I managed to crowbar some street-food antics into some quality family time over the weekend. I had my two sisters and their respective finacees/husbands up last weekend and I dragged them down to Peddler Market. For the uninitiated the Peddler people started it up in Autumn ‘14 and have been putting events on every few months since, setting up all over Sheffield. Now it seems they have found permanent residence just North of the city centre in an old victorian type warehouse on Burton Road near Kelham Island. It is cool as hell. Having spoken to one of the traders down there (Trudi and Justine from Percy & Lily’s – they are the nicest coolest ladies you could wish to meet) it seems that demand to trade is high. I really hope we can get involved as they are doing great things to promote the street food scene within the city. I wanna, I wanna. We all ate some wicked food and I can’t wait to go back, apparently it is monthly from here on in.

Making an enterance
Hip Hop Chip Shop looks ace
They sell booze and everything
The lovely ladies at Percy & Lily’s
I tried their Xim Xim Curry with caramelised pineapple. Top notch.
Bry & Jon sampled HHCS. £5 for all this!
Laurie’s marinated chicken sandwich from P&L’s
J’s sexy burger from The Beefer
Chowing down
Everyone looks pretty professional, scary and exciting
Saw this on the way home, safe to say I won’t be using this place for ‘a MOT’

Since it was mother’s day, mama’s birthday and I had been given a load of time off from work I thought it rude not to drop back to the green green grass of home (Devonia) and catch up with the ‘rents. It was a fleeting visit but I got to sample mum’s homemade lasagne once again. If I ever go on holiday to the states and go on a killing spree ending up on death row (you don’t know what I’m capable of) then this would be my final meal. Maybe that’s my next venture, to force mum to make lasagnes 24/7 sweatshop style and I’m simply the face of it. Anyways, I had a swell time catching up with all the fam and here I sit, home and hosed.

So what am I doing from here on in? Well I’m gonna give my back muscles a right going over before I go back to work. Hopefully going to smash through it all and get to making my kitchen compliant, which means guess what? More sanding. Me and that sander have an almost intimate relationship. I might take it with me to bed. No Jade wouldn’t have that. Maybe I’ll let him watch over us on the shelf whilst we sleep. What am I saying?


Sweet Dreams





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