Hola. What’s happening? Well you can’t answer that over this medium so I guess it’s all on me. A lot of good things have gone on since our last conversation. Progress is always something that tends to come in waves for me before coming crashing to a halt but thus far I am on a solid four or five week run. A lot of our most revered inventors and discoverers had long stretches of existence where they could almost be deemed ordinary until they are gripped by unprecedented fervour, inventing some great machine or sketching an extraordinary theory forever cementing their place in the history books. Maybe that’s where I’m at. I don’t like to compare myself to Newton but hey, I am gonna. I’m sure if he could have watched Jeremy Kyle instead of writing his thesis during his university days then he would have done just that.
On to the meat and ‘taters of this post. First and foremost I had a epoch-making afternoon at the back end of last week. I was for the first time in control of a motor vehicle (legally – I have a track record of bursting through fences, borderline breaking collar bones and scraping vans along walls). I was under the guise of Harold my instructor who is a thoroughly nice chap. He put me at ease as soon as we got on the road. I think he was chuffed when I reversed the car into a space at the end (true story) and similarly displeased when I flipped a cyclist the bird (not so true). Either way he seems to think that I can pass with fifteen to twenty lessons. Great news for me as my bank acct probably can’t take failure at this point. Now that brother Benjamin has finally decided to send me his DVLA DVD I can start to get to grips with the theory test, less than one week to go on that one.
Let’s talk Poutine. Much as I did for nearly two hours with an old compadre and graphic design extraordinaire Mr. Guy Browning the other day. Ben and I have decided to employ his services once again to draw up some branding stuff for us. Along with his wife Lucy they have impeccable taste and know how to make anything super cool. Check their stuff out, they really are awesome at what they do and wonderful people too, doesn’t it make you sick? Anyways we chatted like schoolgirls long into the afternoon and thereafter Ben and I sent him a mood-board with all our ideas. After much deliberation our preliminary name is going to be Good Gravy! To be exclaimed at the top of your voice no doubt. It’s all very exciting and I can’t wait to see what Guy comes back with.
Speaking of gravy, the epicentre of my world and the cornerstone on which our business hinges. There is no doubt that the gravy that makes up one vital pillar of Poutine can make or break you, that’s why our testing has begun in earnest. As I am writing this the sweet smell of beef stock is bubbling away on the stove and drifting upwards to adorn my senses. Flowery I know but that’s just how I feel about gravy. I went and had an in-depth discussion about it all with my local butchers this afternoon and he gave me some cracking advice as well as a whole load of beef scrap and bones (essential to a good stock).
Whilst I was out I picked up some electric scales so I could get this shit scientific. Working from a recipe I found online that uses the (wrongly) much maligned beef shin, I am going to tweak it until it becomes something to behold. Now as I’m sure you’ll understand I can’t be giving too much away about my recipe/method, if I did I would have to kill you. Or at the very least maim you into silence. If I drunkenly let it slip then make your excuses and leave before that steely glaze comes over my face and I start reaching for blunt objects. Anyway I’m sure there will be no end of willing testers once it is there or there abouts. I’ll let you know in due course. For the next few weeks my life is all gravy, quite literally.
Lastly I guess I can’t leave without talking about our beloved universities here in Sheffield. Ben and I have been beavering away formulating a plan to get some kind of daily ‘pop-up’ food stall set up at one or both of the Uni of Sheffield and/or Hallam. This involves a survey, pestering students, counting footfall (yay for me) and enough cash-bungs to make FIFA look like pre-school. Can’t go into too much detail as of yet but hopefully by my next post I will be able to divulge some more gossip. And on that bombshell I shall depart, until next time kids.
Ps. On a completely unrelated note, any history buffs amongst you I urge you to listen to Dan Carlin’s ‘Hardcore History’. Specifically ‘Blueprint for Armageddon’ covering WWI (it was a great war). Ben told me about it I should add. And Dan Carlin told him about it. I think.